The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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