Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
