She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
