So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
