she looked like the before picture.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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