Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am spending my child support on dildos
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
this is an emotional support booty call
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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