Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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