It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
