What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
