Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
