The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My dick has a subreddit
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
