mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
