Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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