and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
