We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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