on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
