I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
