Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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