yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
