it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
