Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
