oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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