Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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