How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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