Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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