Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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