It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
