I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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