I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
