we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
