The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is wine microwaveable?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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