oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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