Can i not drive my cunt home
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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