Im at strip club and am horny
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
