You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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