Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize