If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
