No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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