I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
