1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
