oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
