Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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