This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I didn't notice because vodka
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
