Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I could fuck to npr.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
