some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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