love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I died a long time ago.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
