We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize