You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm experimenting with sincerity
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
