it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
