kristin has been a bad kristin
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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