just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
