Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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