My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
