help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize