That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
