I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
