This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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