I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
