haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
