The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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