Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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