Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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